Labor Larceny                                         10/0l/10

Everyone knows how Disraeli the Tory
Stole from Gladstone the Glory

Abbott the Monk with his Oxon degree
Knowing this hist’ry chuckled with glee

I’ll do the same thing downunder said he
I’ll pinch Labor policy ‘n there won’t be a fee

But Kevin was watching and waiting you see
As Tony left planning for a dip in the sea

Our Liberal hero on his surfboard arose
He did look so Manly and mighty his pose

That’s when the Labour lout pinched all his clothes!

Sexual Politics in the Liberal Party                       11/01/10                                                                                                 

Leadership! Leadership!
Where are the whips?
Backbencher Liberals are licking their lips!

It’s gotta be Julie, the loyalty gal!
She’s done a wonderful job
Shucking off Brendan
And Tony and snooty snob Mal!

But what about Joe?
Not sloppy Joe, no we can’t have him!
Let’s go for Julie,
She’s snake-eyed and slim!

And a woman is better to clean up this mess.
The man we’ll choose after is anyone’s guess.

Malcolm’s Musings          with apologies to W.S.    13/01/10

When in disgrace with polls and Party eyes,

I all alone beweep my outcast state,
Troubling Machu Pichu with my bootless cries,
And Lucy cannot comfort me, sweet mate.
Wishing me like to Tony, rich in hope,
Could surf like him, like him with pecs possess’d,
Resenting Howard’s part, and Minchin’s role,
When that great wealth I have now helps me least:
Yet in these thoughts myself almost despairing,
Julie, I think on thee, and Joe’s great weight,
With Coalition friends like Barnaby rejoicing,
Bronwyn, Wilson, all confident of late,
Your joint capacity such comfort brings
I smile to know you’ll make a mess of things.

Malcolm is at last amused                      05/04/2010

No more disgrace or polls and party fights.
Ne’er again will I beweep my outcast state,
I still have the private power of money’s might,
As Lucy said to comfort me, sweet mate.
See Tony now, who once was rich in hope,
Exposed as surfing fool with hairy chest.
So much for Howard’s part, and Minchin’s role!
Now that great wealth I have will serve me best
To fly me far from Liberals’ despairing.
Julie, I think on thee, and Joe’s great weight,
‘Friends’ like Barnaby, no more rejoicing.
Bronwyn, Wilson, years ahead I know your fate.
That happy thought of you and my heart sings
As I see Rudd around you running rings!

Advice to Kevin to heed the Newspoll!         18/01/10With apologies to R.H.

Gather ye rosebuds while ye may

‘Cos Tony’s out there trying

And these good polls you have today

Tomorrow may be diving.

Parody on William Carlos Williams              19/01/10

Never

not

green

but

holds

olive

branch

comes

right

rich

Mal

again

An Aussie Lad              Apologies to A.E.H       18/01/10

From Mal to Tony the pref’rence turns,
The Libs have made it plain,
Afar and wide their hope returns,
Ambitions burn again.

Look left, look right, the future’s bright,
As if no poll there’d been.
Tony will win the day and plight
His troth to save the Queen.

Now, when the flames of climate change
Burn Australian bush and sod,
Lads, remember Cath’lic friends of his
Will intercede with God.

Good girls who know their place a’right,
Whose mothers bred them brave
Enough to serve yet not to fight
High office they’ll not crave.

Headlines in Asia, web comments show,
Everywhere tis said,
Tone’s Clancy of the Overflow:
Nationals’ pride no longer dead.

Barnaby takes the fight to country towns
Afar and wide he tours,
And fires the beacons up and down
Denouncing Labor’s evil laws.

“God save the Queen” the Liberals sing,
From East to West ’tis heard;
Maybe William should be king.
That’s also on the cards.

Policies can change, fear not!
We’ll be again the men we’ve been.
The party now in Tony’s got
A leader like you’ve never seen!

Punching it Out in Canberra                           16/01/10

Ingenious and ingenuous
With policies most tenuous
Abbott may be strenuous
But is he really strong?

Rudd has heard the gong.
Out he comes gloves on.
Verbiage flies to left and right
What a lovely bloody fight!

Both men give it all their might
And as we say their main.
Tony, was it really worth the pain?
Since Kevin’s won and long will Rein.

The Ballad of Oz King Kev                                  11/01/10

King Kevin’s in Heaven and Therese is there too

With a smile on her face and a wave of her hand

She’s making it Rein all over Oz land

Thus leaving fire rangers with nothing to do.

So Tony goes biking then surfing instead
of fire fighting which gives him more cred.
Well that’s what bossy Nick Minchin has said.

But down at the beach Malingerer’s there
With fistfuls of dollars he’s happy to share
So no one wants Tony no matter how bare.

Later sloppy old Joe comes ambling along.
Tony says “let’s do a show with a jig and a song”
The crowd gets excited.

Bronzed Tony’s delighted.
He flexes his muscles and dances and shuffles.

Get ‘em off, Joe, he whispers we’re winning.

He doesn’t know trouble is only beginning.
Cos Joe’s a team player and does as he’s told
He gets off his gear and he dances real bold.

Tony show pony he should’ve known
how ugly not snuggly
budgy smugglers can be
and should never be shown.

The crowd goes so wild
with booing and hooting
Aah! Then there’s the shooting!
Bang!

Joe lies there cold.
He’ll never grow old.
He should’ve listened to John

Who said “I’m the one!”

He was right. They were wrong.

Kevin’s in Heaven
There’s plenty of Rein
The farmers are voting for Labor again.

Vengeance is Mine sayeth the Lord                      10/01/10   

There was a young biker called Tony
Whom Kevin approached on his pony
He waggled his whip and told him to “Git!
But Tony was fit and started to hit
That snooty and clever dick rider
Kev felt such pain as he reached for his Rein
Brought down by a head punch decider.

But the end of this story
Leaves Kev with the glory.
Cos now he was dead as Tony had said

When we heard him admit that he wouldn’t quit

Till he’d stopped all the revvin’ of ‘twenty four seven’.

Now he’s rotting in hell and writhing in pain

As Saint Kevin with Mary breaks out the champagne.

Tony Abbott says virginity’s a gift                           28/01/10

Such  fatuity

and stupidity

saying viginity’s

a gratuity

or gift.

Doncher know

once it’s lost

by promiscuity

that’s it

for perpetuity!

And – you’ll – go – to – Hell!

Family Values?                                    31/01/10

Isn’t it curious
that throughout
this furious
debate
about daughters
who ought to
beware of a fate
worse than death
no one’s
thought to
mention
or brought to
attention
the Abbott’s
agenda
as Virtue’s
defender
isn’t paternal affection
in giving directions
to avoid
male erections.

It’s all about

winning elections!

Political conundra Downunder

Sexual Politics Downunder

Can be a nine day wonder

Even Larvatus Prodeo
Holds a raunchy rodeo.

Rudd seems robotic.
While Abbott’s quixotic.